Andriatch's Chain Email Column
Bruce Andriatch wrote a chain e-mail today..
It will probably start making the rounds throughout the internets, and within days it will be accompanied by smileys and graphics and animated gifs.
It was obviously meant to be funny, and I laughed at this:
You believe the Broadway Market is open one week per year.
But honestly, I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t know whether to overreact in a fit of pique, subject it to the Kunz-Goldman mockability chart, laugh at it, or be saddened by it. What was your reaction?
It’s kinda funny, and certainly has some truth to it … but I’m sure one could be made the other way as well ….
I thought it was not only very funny – but quite refreshing to come from the “Suburban” columnist. Normally the type of thing you’d see/hear from city people.
I liked it. The bit about calling police on suspicious people is right on according to their 911 roundups, yet some don’t want to lock their doors or cars. Plus they’re big on snitching on erratic drivers but seem to have a hard time seeing deer or slowing down because it’s the season, judging from the number of collisions they have with them.
The best one, IMO: You have built a new house in the last 5 years, but now you want your town to do something about all the “unchecked development” in the area.
There were one or two chuckles in a long list of items that were obviously not meant to be funny, and that’s where the article fails.
I chuckled, then started it around the Internet to my expatriot WNY friends–minus any emoticons.
You know you live off Elmwood Avenue when….
You complain about motorist not respecting your right to ride your bike in the street, but don’t bother to obey any traffic laws while on it.
You won’t shut up about how great a city is but you don’t have the balls to send your kid to the public schools
You refuse to drink anything but wine and microbrews at a bar and turn your nose up and anyone who doesn’t but you’ll still drink Pabst Blue Ribbon to be ironic.
You think because your neighbor cuts his grass and takes care of his house that the entire city is experiencing a renaissance.
You know the Broadway Market is open year round but you never go because you’re terrified of that part of town.
Despite the fact you live in a neighborhood full of well-to-do white people, you consider it diverse because it has a lot of tattoo shops.
When your running late to work and want a cup of coffee you can’t find a drive thru to save your life because the Village association has deemed them evil.
You think it’s your duty as a aging yuppie to tell the rest of the region what’s good for it despite the fact the rest of the region clearly hates you.
I could go on for days….
Jon is clearly on the right track, particularly with the school thing. “You won’t shut up about how great a city is but you don’t have the balls to send your kid to the public schools” .
I suspected that this idiotic column would spawn a fair amount of ” You might be an Urban Hipster if….” responses. There might also be a South Buffalo Version as well.
Andriatch has a lame premise at work here. Apparently, its just not cool to live outside the City Limits. This was indeed MKGesque.
Pretty good. You have to be able to see the humor in your own existence. He should have added something about the inability to parallel park though. I had people laughing at me (including my wife) in front of St Luke’s this morning when I made a few feeble attempts at it.
The column seemed like an affectionate piece of self-deprecation, like Andriatch was aiming for Garrison Keillor territory. But his parting line packed a punch: “You call talk radio shows or post on blogs to offer your insight about what’s wrong with the city.”
Chain letters are not cool. But at least if this one starts barging around the net annoying people the way all chain letters eventually do, this one can be traced back to its originator.
I think both to them (Andriatch’s and Splett’s) are very good.
“Both of them”, I meant.
At first I was annoyed. Then realized that the entire article was poking fun at every aspect of suburban life. I give Andriatch credit as a suburban beat reporter for taking aim at “Pleasantville.” Urban hipsters and bitter/ignorant people like Jon Splett are fair game too.
It’s funny. Not really journalism, but as all you regular bloggers know, it’s tough to come up with something substantial to say on a weekly or daily basis in a column.
So I like it (and the Elmwood one) for what it is. Better to be snarky than syrupy, like the one about Buffalonian friends or whatever on BRO recently. (I forget exactly what it was called but … gag)
Alan:
Thanks for linking to the column. And thanks to all of you for your comments. Especially you, Size Nine. Being mentioned in the same post as a Garrison Keillor reference was the highlight of my day.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Bruce Andriatch
I agree with eliz. on this: “Not really journalism” but will take it a step further and say “Not journalism at all.” While only a tiny bit funny in a funny because it is true sort of way, this column serves more as a reminder of how substandard TBN is as a newspaper than as a humorous break from real news.
A list like this does have it’s place. It belongs on the net, not in a newspaper. I am sure there are many issues for a Suburban professional columnist in WNY to write about that could be researched and presented in a way that informs the readership of newsworthy events in the suburban community. This column does not do that.
I don’t want to come across as being too serious or no fun, but the inevitable “make up column” that will follow gives the columnist a free pass to slack on researching another newspaper-worthy topic for a future column while highlighting and perpetuating a stereotype-laden “us vs. them” mentality that actually has a significant negative impact on our community.
Producing a list like this is not professional journalism and does not belong in the only daily newspaper in our community.
OK, after reviewing my comment thus far, I realize I come across as being way too serious about this, so I will try to redeem myself by wishing you all a safe and Happy Thanksgiving, regardless of your zip code! Cheers!
[...] Splett, who started it in comments here, continues it at his site here. E.g.: You think Buffalo has an awesome music scene and cite the [...]
He’s a columnist, they are allowed to be funny once in a while. This column reminds me of “The 99 Rules for Living in Savannah” that was written many years ago by a columnists at the daily paper here in Savannah, Ga. It’s still very popular and reposted and widely-circulated. He recently revised it because the rules became outdated (places closed, etc.).
I don’t think newspapers have to be HARD NEWS 24/7. I am sure this column will still be e-mailed and re-posted to blogs long after a crime story or other “significant piece of journalism” Is well-forgotten.
I’ve been on his [Andriach's] case since he was Editor of the NEWS’ Suburban Office. The NEWS covers only about 20 or the 25 towns in Erie County, namely Hamburg, Clarence, E.Aurora, Orch.Pk and Amherst. That is, 5 of the 25 towns in Erie County. If Satish sneezes, the NEWS is all over it, but when the Evans Supervisor bans citizens from airing their grievances at Board meetings and threatenes to have them dragged out of meetings by the police, not a word, nada. Then the Supervisor compromises. He says that if those certain critics pay the Town $800 a piece, they will regain their 1st Amendment rights. Outragous – sure, but the NEWS doesn’t cover it. Civil rights can be denied in most of Erie County’s ‘Burbs’ and the NEWS remains silent. No editorials, no news stories., nada Last I knew the Editorial Board honcho lived in Evans.
Yeah, I’m pissed. There are big stories of crime and no punishment in the burbs that you have never heard about because the NEWS looks the other way.
There is a place for fluff and nonsense and fun, fer sure. But people’s are fighting for basic justice in many venues, in many ways, but their stories never see the light of day.
Why? I’m not sure, but I think in the end, it’s people doing people favors. Excuse me if I don’t see the humor in the ‘Burbs’.
BobbyCat, you have summed up perfectly why new media outlets like this one exist. You should start up a site on WNYM and write about what’s going on in your neighborhood. Attract attention to it and get people to read about it and fight for what’s right. Newspapers don’t have the resources or column inches to cover those types of stories anymore, it’s up to us to do it for them. Send me an email at chris@wnymedia.net and we’ll talk about how we can work together.
Geek, Let me disagree with your premise that Buf News lacks resources to cover the suburbs. If they stopped putting all their resources into only 5 of the 25 towns, they could cover more territory. But they won’t.
I certainly would not expect the NEWS to cover all 25 towns in any week. But if something important is happening in Sardinia or Wales or Brant or Newstead I think the NEWS should write about it. At the very least, the ‘Burbs’ blog could air the story. But no, the NEWS is apparently following their demographic and only printing ” wealthy-suburb news”. My point is, it’s not that they can’t, it’s just that they won’t.
Of course the NEWS is not the only shirker. My town -Evans is covered by two local papers: The Hamburg Sun and The (Evans) Town Crier. Problem is they distain from printing news critical of the town administration. I think the town’s lucrative advertising revenues appeal to small paper editors, so they don’t bite the hand…consequently when the Town Supervisor gets busted for DWI in a town vehicle ,residents are left wondering what the disposition of the case was. All the papers are shhhhhh- Mum.
It’s not up to bloggers to print that stuff, Geek, that’s the NEWS’ job but they have abandoned most 2nd and 3rd ring suburbs IMHO.