I Blame the Spotlight Guy

Ho Hum

by Ryan

For real this time.

Entertain Us

By Chris

When I was at the Sabres-Flyers game two weeks ago, my dad left kind of disappointed. It wasn’t about the result on the ice.

“They don’t do anything anymore during stoppages,” he said.

He was right. The Sabres have really toned down their in-game entertainment this year. Don’t get me wrong. I never liked the Why Guy or Nicholas Picholas as the in-game host.

And I’m not suggesting that they put a bear on skates to motivate the crowd:

These things never seem to work out. Ever.

But there’s no Big Mac Wheel (dumb, yes, but who didn’t love to see Grimace wobble down the stairs), the organ music has left something to be desired and, hell, Sabretooth doesn’t even bang his stupid drum anymore. Outside of the Kiss Cam, HSBC Arena is pretty dull.

Give me trivia (not “What’s Nathan Paetsch’s favorite comedy?), give me history (something obscure about Roger Crozier or Larry Playfair — guys the young kids are going to want to find out about).

Be faster with replays, too. Most of the time you never get a closer look at a penalty or a great save. It’s almost as bad as watching on TV.

Many of us don’t need that stuff to enjoy the game. But enhance the game day experience. Make the arena atmosphere unique.

Intermissions are hands down the worst. They didn’t even have kids skate during the first intermission of the Calgary game we attended a week later. How many times can you watch a commercial telling you that TSO is coming? Apparently not enough as the entire 15 minutes was filled with “Coming Soon” ads.

Maybe I should be up, standing in line buying beer and fries, but if I’m in my seat, give me highlights. Stream Kevin Sylvester and Roby talking about the game I’m watching. Let’s start with that. It might be too much to ask for video from games on the out-of-town scoreboard. God forbid we actually utilize those huge HD TVs hanging from the rafters.

At least they got the opening video right this time. “Hell’s Bells” and Patrick Kaleta Carruba Collisions beats out sappy U2 songs and kids skating on a pond with Drew Stafford any day of the week.

And how is it that “Sweet Caroline” didn’t play at either of the last two Friday night games? Seriously.

Melted Faces and Freezing Lakes

by Ryan

On Tuesday afternoon Western New York let out a brief cry of jubilation: Dick Jauron was no longer head coach of the Buffalo Bills. I, however, was a little less enthused. In fact, my exact words were something to the effect of “Why bother?”

Now I’m not one of those guys that blows this Bills off after Week Six. I still get excited about every Sunday afternoon, and I love football more than most healthy people should. The Bills are a bad football team, yes, but they are my bad football team and that means something nonetheless.

The importance the Bills have in my life makes my reaction to Jauron’s exit so interesting. Let’s be honest, I should be thrilled. Dick Jauron brought a level of consistent mediocrity to the Bills that few have ever matched. Three straight 7-9 seasons, a constant stream of defensive injuries, and enough blank stares to make you think Skeletor was on the sidelines. I mean I’ve only heard nice things about Dick Jauron as a person, but when you’re getting the head coach of your football team confused with the Nazi who got his face melted off in Raiders of the Lost Ark; you could probably use a bit more intensity on the sidelines.

Still, I can’t help but be puzzled by firing Dick Jauron even after a 41-17 dismemberment in Tennessee. Maybe it was Titans owner Bud Adams dual-wielding middle fingers that got Ralph Wilson going, but after what we saw over the last three-plus years I find it hard to believe that a fourth quarter implosion in Nashville was enough to put things over the top.

Let’s face it, Dick Jauron should not have been coaching this team all year. His contract extension back in December ’08 will probably go down as one of the stupidest decisions in Buffalo sports history, and it was clear after the first game that this Bills team was no different than the last three incarnations we endured under Dick’s tenure.

So if Dick Jauron was kept under the veil of “continuity,” why should I expect he get fired at all this season? He didn’t get the axe after an embarrassing 6-3 loss to Cleveland at home, and he didn’t get the heave ho during the bye week, so why did he get sent packing the week after the bye? Losing to Tennessee on the road is no less embarrassing or telling than losing to Houston at home, nor any other loss the Bills have had this year.

What makes the Dick Jauron firing so frustrating is that, as usual, the franchise acted far too late. Even when they do the right thing, the curious manner which they go about doing it makes it hard to get too excited. It’s a team full of conundrums and confusion, from the front office all the way down to the players on the field. The entire franchise is mired in a philosophical clusterfuck, and it’s not changing anytime soon.

So maybe that’s what is so maddening about Dick Jauron getting fired. A correct as the move is, nothing is really going to change. The interim coach is from the same staff, the players are the same, and the damage has already been done. The Dick Jauron Era may be over, but it’s just another name to add to the list of failed seasons and broken promises. It’s another quarterback thrown under the bus, another head coach chased out of town and yet another season without playoff football at the Ralph.

Just another long, cold winter in Buffalo.

Unexpected Holiday

By Chris

So Dick Jauron is finally out.

Bills fans can celebrate that. The castration has been a long time coming.

Let’s face it, this season is lost. Firing Jauron gives the franchise the opportunity to start over yet again.

Perry Fewell will step in as interim head coach. If Ralph Wilson doesn’t want to pony up the big bucks for an experienced coach, don’t be shocked if Fewell keeps the job. The next seven games are going to be his audition. It probably wouldn’t be the best move, but don’t put it past them.

A new head coach is only the first step. The team needs a general manager focused on putting a good football team on the field. COO Russ Brandon does a hell of a job selling tickets, but come on. The team’s gotten worse under his watch.

And that general manager needs the keys to the car, no questions asked. Wilson’s been hesitant to give up too much power since he got burned by Tom Donahoe (he brought in Marv Levy, a man he trusts, and then when he left, split up responsibilities). That has to change.

What we’re really looking for is a GM. Fans are sick of rookie head coaches so why not look for a guy who can fill both roles?

On the A-List of guys currently sitting at home, you’re looking at Super Bowl champions enjoying cushy studio jobs. I doubt Bill Cowher or Tony Dungy will want to come out of retirement for the mess that is the Bills. Hiring either of them will break the bank, another thing Wilson isn’t accustomed to doing (especially if he’s still paying for Jauron).

On the next tier are the Mikes: Holmgren and Shanahan. Neither is in football right now. They’ve both won Super Bowls as well and I like either of them as legitimate candidates for the gig.

Holmgren left Seattle on his own terms but Shanahan was fired in Denver. He might have an itch to get back sooner rather than later. They may both demand a pretty penny but not as much as Cowher or Dungy.

Want to get into the playoffs? Then Marty Schottenheimer might be your man. However, he doesn’t have GM experience (then again, neither do Cowher, Dungy or Shanahan) so he might not be the best bet.

Forget Brian Billick and Jon Gruden. Billick is not a great coach and Gruden just signed an extension with ESPN (and he’s actually pretty good on Monday Night Football).

Now if the Bills do wait until January to fill any of these positions, there’s always a chance they could interview with coaches who just got fired. Eric Mangini, John Fox, Jim Zorn and Lovie Smith could all be possibilities although the only one I might be interested in is Fox.

And those are just the obvious choices off the top of my head.

So a general manager, a new coach. Besides finding a quarterback, what else is it going to take to get fans excited for next season?

And is it safe to say that Jauron has gotten extremely old-looking in the last four years?

Guess the job will do that to you.

Photo Booth

by Ryan

One of the best parts about the HSBC Arena press box are the photos. Perhaps if I was in it for an event demanded more than weak coke and stale popcorn it would be the food, but for me it is the pictures of great moments in Sabres history.

This year there looks to be quite a few newer ones up on the walls. There’s a picture of Kaleta hitting someone, Pominville scoring against Ottawa in the Eastern Conference Semifinals, and of Ryan Miller during the national anthems. My favorite photo, however, is this one:

There they are with the Presidents Trophy on the ice. Now no one’s really a fan of that trophy, and what got me about the photo was the look on Tim Connolly’s face:

It’s not the best picture in the world, but it’s right in front of the elevators and I didn’t want to look ridiculous. Anyway, the look on Connolly’s face was so… surly, so unsatisfied that it was kind of endearing. It might be just a coincidence, but it really looked like he wasn’t impressed at all and that’s something I want out of the players left on this team.

Plus, it looked pretty funny at the time. Besides, look at Dan Paille not caring at all. Sooo glad he got moved. Jerk.

From Timmy to Tyler

by Ryan

Sometimes you just have good timing.

Just two days after I’m in the press box watching Tyler Ennis as a Portland Pirate he scores his first goal as a Buffalo Sabre. It took a lot of things for it to happen: Gerbe’s concussion moved him up the callup list, Grier’s groin put Mair in the lineup and Stafford’s hip injury created a need. And so suddenly the Sabres have a number 62 taking shifts on Saturday night in Philly.

His first impression to Sabres fans was impressive: 1 goal, 4 shots, 19 shifts and 14:13 TOI. He saw time on the power play and looked comfortable in his first NHL game despite being rushed into action. It wasn’t a spectacular first game, but it was a pretty strong showing for a kid less than a year out of juniors and in his first AHL season, let alone his first NHL game.

Now it’s not likely Ennis stays with the team for very long. In fact I doubt he even plays on Wednesday, but what happened in Philadelphia is a strong indicator that he remains the first call up when more injuries strike. That means we haven’t seen the last of Ennis this year, and also that Nathan Gerbe falls further down the depth chart.

Call it bad luck that a concussion kept Nathan from being ready this week, but Ennis has probably jumped him on the depth chart when healthy, too. Here’s what Pirates head coach Kevin Dineen had to say about Ennis on Thursday after the Portland game on Thursday:

“Ennis is kind of one of those little firestarters,” he said about Ennis’ playmaking ability. “Tyler’s been a guy that’s not unlike Timmy Kennedy here last year. When I was looking to get a player going he seemed to put him on his wing and all of a sudden he’s playing good hockey.”

It’s an interesting comparison when you think about it. Dineen also mentioned that both Kennedy and Ennis are not natural centers, and so they’ve had to work hard to transition into that role. He also called Ennis their “top player” so far, something that Kennedy was called throughout much of last season.

I think the comparisons Ennis brings to Kennedy are valid. Listen, there’s a reason Kennedy made the Sabres out of camp while Gerbe is still in Maine: Kennedy can adapt to a different role on the Sabres, something Ennis seems able to do as well. Both Tylers have fantastic vision and playmaking ability, but they also seem quite willing to grind it out on the third line for a bit.

What Kennedy is doing this season is not something we will see from him in two or three years. As he learns his place in the NHL he will use his vision and skill with the puck more and more. He will be a scorer, and the third line will be well beyond him. Right now, however, that’s how he makes it into the NHL. If playing with guys like Grier and Ellis is what it takes, he’s going to do it.

Ennis and Kennedy are different players, but they seem to have the same sort of abilities and advantages. If anything, we can only hope that Ennis has a lot of what Tim Kennedy brings. Oftentimes he is one of the best players on the ice, and five points this season betrays his true value to the team.

It’s still very early, but if other Tyler plays like Tim, Darcy has already hit the 2008 draft class out of the park. Both Tylers have already made an impact on the Sabres just one year removed from their draft class. It wouldn’t surprise me if Kennedy, Myers, and Ennis were all playing hockey on this team in April. It’s been a long time since Darcy Regier was that successful with a draft class, and its rare that any draft brings such instant satisfaction.

In the wake of such first round failures as Marek Zagrapan and Dan Paille, Darcy seems to be on the right track so far.

Unconditional Free Checking

by Ryan

Every year there seems to be one commercial that captures the hearts and minds of the viewing public. Perhaps the best example of this in the post-lockout era is the Labatt Blue Fish commercial, which ran for almost a full two years in all its fish-talking glory.

This year, however, the most memorable commercial involves a much more serious topic: child abuse.

Now overall the commercial has a good, wholesome message. You want a bank you can raise a child in, and I get that. Personally I spent many long nights locked in the vault at my local HSBC, but back in the day it was called Marine Midland Bank. Ah, memories.

Anyway, everything is going smoothly until that first woman shows up and says this:

“I didn’t want to be a mom. It took me three months to love him.”

Okay, I’m with you so far. You are a horrible person and most certainly a horrible mother. You probably contemplated tossing your child in a mall parking lot trash can, like some people do with sneakers when they get a new pair of Jordans. You were probably dropped as a child and cheat on your taxes. But yeah, keep going.

“Now I can’t imagine my life without him.”

Just a flawless transition here: now she and that baby are attached at the hip. Getting knocked up was the best thing that ever happened to her! That child went from unloved to irresistible in just over 90 days, which is quite the accomplishment. Just imagine, a mother who loves her child! Mother of the year candidate if you ask me. Now the expression on that poor kid’s face completely makes sense:

“Holy shit! Three months?!? I wish I was adopted.”

Now I don’t have much experience in the ways of motherhood and rearing children, but to me this lady seems like an awful human being. Maybe someone with children can chime in here and set me straight, but I thought you’re supposed to love your children no matter how much they get in the way of your banking. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to break in your love for a baby like you break in a baseball glove, it’s supposed to be ready to roll right out of the box.

Either way, it’s a confusing bit of marketing for HSBC. Unless there is some vast untapped market for questionable parents with confused priorities, I can’t imagine this is very effective. At the very least it requires further explanation, which good commercials should never need.

In conclusion: that woman is probably a whore.

Reexamination

by Ryan

Remember this guy?

The last time we really talked about Maxim Afinogenov, it sounded something like this

Afinogenov’s time in Buffalo had been rocky and the end of the line is clear, but his time in the NHL might not be over just yet. I wouldn’t be shocked if he had a decent year and earned himself another contract; but I’m certainly okay with it happening on another team.

It’s certainly not a shocking statement, as everyone seemed to be saying the same things about Max for the last two years or so. The verdict on Afinogenov was clear: something happened and he needs a change of scenery to fix it. We’ve all talked about what happened and what it means to the team, but it was time for Max to go.

So he went to Atlanta, where he’s pretty much exploded. Max has 16 points (6+10) in 16 games on a surprisingly strong Thrashers team. At 10-6-1, Atlanta is second in the Southeast Division behind Washington and look like they are the real deal.

And so does Max. His advanced numbers aren’t fantastic but his basic stats are very impressive. He’s already matched his goal total from last season, and his average time on ice (17:14) is up near what he saw during his best years as a Sabre.

Here’s what Ilya Kovalchuk had to say about Max:

“Max seems like he’s got a second life in hockey. In Buffalo he just take a beating from the coach, and was told stuff and they bench him. You can’t do that to those kind of players. He’s one of the hardest working I ever see. Off the ice he’s in the gym every day and he’s preparing himself. Johnny trusts him and put him in key situations. He feels more comfortable and he gives you results… He’s every day, he’s smiling, and that’s the most important thing. In Buffalo you can’t smile. If you smile you sit on the bench.“

Now before we get all mad at Kovalchuk, let’s keep in mind how ridiculous that statement is. Smiling is certainly allowed in Buffalo, careless giveaways and inane play is not. Maxim Afinogenov got benched because he was in Lindy Ruff’s doghouse, and whether right or wrong, he was in his doghouse because he played awful stretches of hockey.

I still say he got exactly what he needed: a change of scenery. That’s sort of what Ilya is saying, but with broken English and some douchebaggery. Atlanta is giving Max a chance and they’ve been lucky, but it is still early. We know what Max is made of: injuries, frustrating stretches of hockey, and momentary brilliance.

The numbers are there, but I think it’s pretty clear that those numbers wouldn’t exist if he were still on the Sabres. Atlanta took a chance on Max and so far it has paid off. Playing with a guy like Kovalchuk can’t help. and it’s still very early. If he keeps a point per game pace all season he’s the best $800,000 player in hockey. If not, he’s Maxim Afinogenov.

Either way, good for him.

Bud Adams is With Us

by Ryan

Here’s what Titans owner Bud Adams thought of the Bills’ performance yesterday:

Yup, that looks about right.