Top Ten

Last night at his rally, David Paterson read a “Top Ten” list; his top ten reasons why he’s running for Lieutenant Governor:

#10 Because I want to boss around Republicans.

#9 There will be fewer bad hair days than with Mary Donohue.

#8 Because State Troopers drive you around, I won’t have to drive anymore.

#7 Because a free face lift comes with the job.

#6, #6, #6…I forgot…(Takes piece of paper out of his pocket and holds it to his face). Subpoena? No, that’s not it. So I won’t get investigated by Eliot Spitzer. (Big cheer from crowd).

#5 You get to fart in the executive bathroom. (Yes, he actually said that).

#4 Absolutely greed. (Yup. That, too).

#3 I’ll do anything to get away from Eric Schneiderman.

#2 Because Stan Lundine was not available.

#1 To spend more time at home.

Thanks to Capitol Confidential, which posted these. They all got a big laugh. Especially the subpoena line.