Secession
I’m not a big fan of upstate New York seceding from downstate, despite our constant effing in the a by such upstate-centric individuals such as Malcolm Smith, Carl Kruger, or Pedro Espada, Jr. I realize that tax revenue from New York City and its suburbs goes a long way; a far way.
Upstate as 51st state, Wizard’s Mizard’s Gizard? I like it.
I think a 51st state naming contest is in order, BP.
I’ll start…South Canada.
Dandelion in an asphalt crack as state flower. Capital would be someplace remote (Potsdam? Wellsville?) to make the idea of a career as a state elected official seem as unattractive as possible.
Any and all major league sports teams looking for state support must first consider All-High Stadium and/or Riverside Rink as their home.
The possibilities are endless…
I’d suggest the Capitol should be in Syracuse, which is centrally located, and a large enough city to support an influx of lawmakers and associated cretinues. Barring that, it should be in Niagara Falls, which could sure use it and has fun stuff to do nearby.
The state flag would involve the color brown, a cog or gear, a hammer, and smokestacks.
The name of the state would be “New Ontario”.
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Not only do we need a name for the 51st, but we also need a slogan as I’m sure we’d be leaving I (heart) NY behind.
how about calling ourselves Really Really North Carolina
New York 2, Electric Boogaloo.
If we secede, we’ll tax ourselves out of existence within three months.
Slogan? How about…”South Canada. Where life no longer has to suck.”
The capital has got to Lowville. And New Ontario is okay, but I have a top 10 list of other suggestions:
10. Adirondia (I actually kinda like this one)
9. New Quebec (A little more cache’ than New Ontario)
8. Commonwealth of Niagara (no brainer, really)
7. East Ohio (let’s distance ourselves as much as possible from the East Coast)
6. New Rustbeltia (matches BP’s suggestion for a state flag)
5. West Vermont (hey, it works for West Virginia)
4. Wingolia or simply Wingland (now we’re cookin’)
3. Cheektovegas (why not? how many casinos are there upstate?)
2. Buffarochasyrutialbia (my apologies to Binghamton, Olean, Jamestown, Geneva, Troy, Poughkeepsie, Newburgh, and Niagara Falls)
and the number 1.
1. Woodstock (the state flag could be a peace sign, and the state flower – well, I’m sure you can figure it out ….)
@Chris — “If we secede, we’ll tax ourselves out of existence within three months.”
I disagree. The legislature of South Canada will make it easy for school districts to consolidate and cooperate. Easy for local governments to merge or downsize. Government will be both smaller and less costly. People will vote for the best candidate, not just the party. Non-partisan and bi-partisan will be the norm, not the exception. Social safety net costs will drop because companies with 21st century jobs will beat a path to our shovel-ready brownfields. Management and union will recognize both the opportunities and limitations, and act accordingly.
And every household will have a unicorn.
That’s my fantasy, and I’m sticking to it.
Name: Niaonterie
Dont need the Downstate revs if we make a concerted effor to only provide the level of welfare benefits as say, NC offers and have a residency requirement.
@pirate’s code, we’re seceding, not summarily deporting all the people here who continually vote for higher taxes and want HUGE government spending. Sam Hoyt would probably be the god damned governor, for fucks sake.
@chris — So much angst, young man. In South Canada, where there’s a chicken in every pot and a unicorn in every garage, I see a newcomer emerging as governor, to lead us to a time of full employment, low taxes and government you don’t necessarily want to drop an anvil on. A leader who will make sure everything old is saved, nothing is demolished, and anything new is built to the sidewalk/curb and reflects the fabric of the community. A true independent, a savior, a self-made billionaire, maybe a hockey team owner.
Umm…never mind. I really should stop drinking in the afternoon.
Not to be overly competitive, but how about “Newer York?” That way, we wouldn’t have to waste taxpayer money changing the monogrammed stationery.
And we’ll need a mascot. I nominate Golisano.
How about ‘New York – That Other One’?
The way so many people seem to be talking, it may not be enough to secede from NYS. We may have to secede from the U.S. and become a new province of Canada, since people seem to want to be Canadian anyway.
Canadians are three years older. Does that means we all get three years older if we join Canada?
(People get old fast in welfare states.)
I like Newer York. I think this nirvana has real promise. Things will be chugging along, everything will be grand and then someone will say…”Hey, let’s replace that rusty old bridge to Canada” and BLAM……Groundhog Day! Everything will grind to a halt. It’ll be like that VISA check card commercial where the guy tries to pay cash. Adios, Newer York…..hello, Erie County.
How about a name based upon on nations other than Canada
Labattvia
Beerlivia
Tax-istan
The Wingo
Weckoslovokia
Wexico
Snowzerland
How about Hudson State?