"I hear there's crab legs at the buffet!"

NYS Gov. Andrew Cuomo will be at UB’s North Campus today to announce $35 million dollars in state funding as a “seed” to help fund the university’s construction plans. While the specifics of the funding will be revealed by the Governor at 11:00 am, Tommunisms has learned that one of the stipulations will be that one of the buildings that UB will erect shall be a mini-casino, of which the university shall receive (approximately) a “generous” .067% of the take.

Silver Lining of Crap

Unreliable sources reveal that the stipulation was added because it was the only way that any funding monies would be allowed by NYS Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver. Silver, from whom all important decisions in the state’s governance must meet with his approval, cited this as a win-win for Albany:

“We get to throw the scums in upstate NY a bone and look like we give a shit about them, plus we get our fledgling “New York State Fun Time Casinos” (coming soon to your economically depressed area!) in an ideal setting: around students who are living off their parents’ dime and massive student loans. And as a nice side note, we get to piss the Indians off some more before we send in heavily fortified law enforcement to collect all the money they owe us. Treaty, schmeetie, I say!”

The same disreputable sources say that any construction at UB must be “no-bid” contracts awarded to builders who have “absolutely no mob ties.”    ” None whatsoever…”

“Well, maybe a little, but you’ll shut up about that if you knows what’s good fer ya…”



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