NOT a Lebowski Achiever…

Time Magazine, struggling for relevance in the digital era, names their “Person of the Year” yesterday as “The Protester”. Unable (or unwilling) to make up their minds about over which singular person would get the honors, they went the route they have gone before (jumping the shark isn’t new to them) and went with the generic protester.

Citing the uprisings in the Middle East over tyranny, to the economic distress across Europe that has caused many a riot, and now the mixed bag of hippies, college students with student loans, bums and those who might actually be upset about the economic disparity that is happening in the U.S., it seems that if you’re a protester, then you made the list.

So… does that mean the protesters from Westboro Baptist Church who show up at people’s funerals with “God Hates Fags” and other horrible signs are also the “Persons of the Year?” What about those who protest them? Are they also “Person of the Year”, even if they are opposed to each other? Were the librarians who were picketing outside the downtown Buffalo Library earlier this year also “Person of the Year”? I guess anybody who doesn’t want to lose their job would also qualify (myself included). And speaking of “myself”…

Time Magazine’s choice this year is almost as bad as when they selected “You” in 2006 and made a cover with a shiny relective surface so you could see yourself in their makeshift mirror. At least “The Big Lebowski” got it right:

Anyways, back to me. I hearby protest Time Magazine’s selection of “Person of the Year”. And since I have protested it, I therefore become “Person of the Year”. I hereby lay claim to whatever credibility such an honor bestows on the recipient. I figure it’s somewhere in the vincinity of “jack” and “squat”.

Besides, next year should be the year of the protester. If the Euro collapses, watch society over there spiral into chaos. Our fragile economy won’t be insulated either, and calls for “greater sacrifice” on the little people’s part might actually awake the true sleeping giant of the States, the Amercan citizenry. That will make the current “Occupy” movement look like a sleepover. But don’t worry, by that point, you can be labled a terrorist in your very country and be held under “indefinite detention” while local police forces are given surplus military drones to spy on us, or shoot bean bags at us.

But in the meantime, I’ll bask in my laurels… Excelsior!