Let me stop you before you even start. I know. I know the days of Jim Kelly and Dan Marino showdowns are 20 years old. I know neither team has had a winning record since 2008. Both teams went 6-10 last year. I don’t care.

Rivalries are rivalries, and it’s time to start hating the Dolphins again.

I had a pleasant conversation with a Miami native last week. When you live in Alaska, you really can’t be picky about who you talk sports with. Thousands of miles from where I spent my whole life, I’m content talking to anyone who knows where Buffalo is on a map. So when he started going on about Marino, I knew I was in luck.

We talked for 30 minutes about “the good old days.” When our teams were vying for the AFC East crown and meeting in yearly playoff battles. We reminisced about when our teams won and about how good the Patriots are these days.

We laughed at the Jets.

Did he rag on me for the Bills hiring Dolphin rejects for head coach and DC? No.

Did I berate him with jokes about the three-headed incompetent monster of Garrard, Moore and Tannehill? No.

Have we lost touch with our roots?

I’m embarrassed. I should have let him have it. But instead I just stood there, not wanting to cause a scene in the middle of his store while my girlfriend stands next to me.

What kind of fan am I?

This isn’t about both teams treading water in a sea of mediocrity. We shouldn’t feel sorry for each other and talk about the Golden Age like two seniors on a shuffleboard court. This is a rivalry, folks. It’s time to kick the other while it’s down. It’s time to get the blood boiling. Every morning when we wake up, our Cinnamon Toast Crunch should taste like battery acid, because we watched the Buffalo Bills get embarrassed twice last season by Matt Moore and Charles “Who?” Clay.

I went running this morning and this song came on my iPod. It got the blood pumping. It reminded me that the Bills have to beat — and beat down — the Fins twice this year to even sniff a postseason berth.

So on the days where we rip on Tom Brady’s haircut on ESPN comment boards and get in Twitter fights with Jet fans, let’s save some hate for Miami.

I hate the Heat. Whenever I see the inside of AmericanAirlines Arena on TV, I feel I need to take a shower.

The Marlins? With their home run mechanismthat has more of a place in a Nick Jr. show than in a sports park?


And then there are the Dolphins. They traded their best wide receiver and missed out on Peyton Manning. Even Matt Flynn scoffed his nose and chose Seattle over them. Alex Smith used the Fins for a trip to the beach (

Dolphins’ fans want to point to last year’s pair of wins? Fine. They want to take about the longest-active playoff drought? Bring it on.

Because this is a rivalry. One that needs to come back.

Need more reason to hate? Take a listen.

It’s time to start hating the Dolphins again.

Jank is the inner fan of a displaced Buffalonian who contributes to Buffalo Wins. He spends much of his time suppressed by journalistic integrity, but every now and then breaks free.