There are two things I find funny about the Buffalo News. Unfortunately, for our endangered overpriced daily (soon to be weekly) newspaper, neither is for the right reasons. 

Their Off Main Street column, where they actually attempt to be humorous, is usually about as funny as a child stricken with cancer. Unfunny people should not attempt humor. It’s like when Michael Jordon attempted to be a professional baseball player or Bruce Willis, a singer. It usually doesn’t end well. What I do find funny is that anyone would pay 75 cents a day to read Associated Press stories from two weeks ago. 

The other waste of time is their local political endorsements. The News always goes with the favorites of the status quo. This part isn’t funny, but when they attempt to justify their endorsement in print, it’s pretty hilarious. You end up having two guys and a woman from Williamsville attempt to tell the readers why Joe Blow is the best choice to represent South Buffalo or the Fillmore District. These endorsements are merely ads, just like one of their full page ads for JC Penney. 

I feel bad for A.J. Verel, Kevin Lafferty, or Paddy Burke, if any of them went down to the News interview yesterday thinking they actually had a chance to impress the editorial crooks, err I mean staff. I’m sure by now, the word has already been passed down to the bloodsuckers on Scott Street that Christopher Scanlon is going to be the savior of South Buffalo. It’s nothing to be upset about, just business as usual. Thank God that paper is on it’s last leg. I invite you three and the growing number of people affected by the News’ bias to continue reading yours truly to get a different take on the news. I won’t be describing the physical attributes of male subjects like Donny Esmonde, but I’ll do my best to write the truth. 

Newspapers are going the way of record players, rotary phones, and VHS tapes. While I miss those three, I won’t miss the Buffalo News and it’s status quo preserving agenda…

But February made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn’t take one more step…