Om-Nom-Nom!

Although he’s better known for his pork projects, Chuck Swanick (Democrat turned Republican turned Democrat turned Republican turned Whig Party, turned Republocrat) has now turned chicken. According to completely unreliable sources (a little bird told me) , Swanick (currently running to unseat State Senator Mark Grisanti in the NYS 60th district) vows to bring Chick-Fil-A to the district if elected.

My source (a pigeon stool… er… stool pigeon) says that although Swanick received donations totaling $7,000 from the National Organization for Marriage for God-Fearing Straight People Only (NOM-GFSP) he won’t be taking any action to repeal New York’s Marriage Equality law. But if having the support of anti-gay rights groups gets him in good standing with Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy, then the good people of the 60th (and Swanick himself) will finally be able to sink their teeth into Chick-Fil-A’s tasty sandwiches, and Swanick will be able to claim credit for bringing new job opportunities to NYS. As long as you don’t mind working for or patronizing a cult-like company

I’ve seen sweater days…

In a completely unrelated note, Swanick vows to bring real change to Albany if elected, in that he will petition to have the State Senate snack drawer replace Oreo cookies with Hydrox brand sandwich cookies, because they are “free of trans fat and homosexual tendencies