Note: This isn’t actually Jay speaking, but a podium that sits 4 feet tall and about 2 feet wide.

“So, it’s been a week since my last appearance, this go-around with the ol’ senior U.S. Senator from the great state of New York.  I needed some time to collect my thoughts.  And to type them.  I don’t have hands.”

“Now, I’ll be the first one to admit it:  I have a pretty good scam goin’ here.  Just show up on time, stand up in front of both people and journalists alike, and look good while doing it.  Maybe carry a water or two on top of me, and handle 5 or 6 microphones plus a couple of recorders without looking like I was a last-second grab out of the ballroom hosting the investment seminar down at the Adam’s Mark. Having said that, WOW, have I had some doozies said behind my back (literally) the last 10 years.”