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TAMPA (The Borowitz Report)—The Republican National Committee issued a statement today indicating that due to Hurricane Isaac, the War on Women would be postponed until Tuesday.

Billy Coldane, who traveled from Bullitt County, Kentucky to attend the War on Women, was just one of many Republicans who said they were “disgusted” by the Party’s decision.

“The Party is saying they’re doing this because of an ‘act of God,’ but postponing the War on Women is the exact opposite of what God would want,” he said. “Sometimes I wonder if Republicans are really serious about defeating women.”

He worried that postponing the War on Women “because of a little 100-m.p.h. wind” might be seen by the Party’s enemies as a sign of weakness: “There’s rotten weather every December and you don’t see Obama postponing the War on Christmas.”