I look out my window and see the empty 40 oz. beer bottles, hypodermic needles, crack pipes and abandoned shopping carts on my front lawn and begin to think. The end results have become known as my random thoughts from the ghetto…

-Every TV show during the 1970s/80’s had an episode where a professional photographer began taking pictures while the lens was still on.
 


-So much for rivalries in the NFL. 9,000 tickets still remain for the Bills/Dolphins game on 11/15. Thank you free agency.
 

-Since banks began bolting their pens down, I wonder how many millions of them have been saved.

-If you order a pizza and they ask for a name to go along with the order, and your name is Ezekiel, do you give them your actual name or just say, “Larry”?

-I’m beginning to think I might be out of touch with the latest fashion trends. I went out the other night wearing a bright yellow “Members Only” jacket and I think people were giving me strange looks.

 
-By the way, what club were they members of?

-Sometimes a great name can make a product marketable. I think that is the case with the muscle relieving Biofreeze. It might not even work to relieve pain, but the name sounds so official and scientific, people with spend $12 to find out.

-One good thing about all these “hands free” devices: When I’m in my car talking to myself, I get a lot less strange looks. People just assume I was dumb enough to buy one of those things.
 

-What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?