I may not always debate a policy wonk, but when I do, I make hyper-exaggerated facial expressions…

Here are a few of the stories that Tommunisms isn’t working on:

The Nobel Peace Prize Awarded To The European Union For Fucking The Greeks Over

Honorable Mention for Nobel Peace Prize Goes To “The Unmanned Drone”

Dave Weigel Reports European Union Also Awarded Nobel Prize For Economics

New Evidence Emerges Mitt Romney Murdered Captain Kangaroo in 2004, Reports Unnamed Obama Official

Scientists Estimate 3064 Variations of the Word “Oktoberfest” Used for Marketing Purposes in the US

Striking Walmart Workers May Impact Your Ability To Buy $1.99 Tube Socks

David Axlerod Reveals Keywords To Be Used By Obama in Next Debate: Hooey, Shenanigans, Tomfoolery and Flim-Flam

67% of Morons Polled Say John Boehner Won Debate

MSNBC Host Chris Matthews Only Gets a Semi-Stiffy Out Of Biden Performance With Slight Tingle

Fact Check: Reagan Carried No States In 1980 Election Because States Are Very Heavy

Paul Ryan: Take Reagan’s Approach to Russia: Begin Bombing In Five Minutes

Obama to Wear “I “Heart” Ohio” T-Shirt To Next Debate

WNY Recoils As Existence Of Billy Fucillo Jr. Revealed

Pope Marks 50th Anniversary Of Vatican II, Says Vatican III To Be Directed By Michael Bay In 3D

Wendys To Give Iconic Redhead First Makeover In Over 30 years: Christina Hendricks To Play Wendy

…Maintain…Eye…Contact…