Coming soon to everywhere!

Elmwood Village restaurant proprietor Pauly Tsouflidis announced on Twitter that he will be moving forward with plans to expand his popular Acropolis restaurant on the second floor, which has been a heated issue with some fuddy-duddy local residents.

Note: above tweet may not be real

Sources not at all close to the situation reveal that work will begin on the HSBC Tower immediately and Central Terminal, while the Trico Plant will need to have the 478 toxic chemicals and compounds removed from the crumbling internal structure. 30,000 tables are expected in the total expansion plans. In addition, your house will also be used as a “satellite” station, with hours running from 2:00 PM to 3:00 AM Monday through Saturday, with the grand opening happening this Friday. Tsouflidis said that alcohol will be served there, and that special dispensation has been given to allow smoking at your home.

The musical act for opening night at your house will be three straight hours of the solo jazz flute artist Zoots McHannahan. You have been asked to make sure you don’t park in your driveway that night…