Also try: Paul Ryan Sno-Balls!

With the 2012 Presidential debate just a few days away, the robotically stiff and seemingly unfeeling automaton Mitt Romney has been practicing hard for it. And according to The New York Times, to create great television moments to boost his campaign, Mitt has been not only brushing up on ways to keep his horrible policies vague, but will be on the attack with what he is best least known for: his comedic timing!

Mr. Romney’s team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August. His strategy includes luring the president into appearing smug or evasive about his responsibility for the economy. (New York Times)

Yes, nothing like planned spontaneity to show that Romney has the chops like Ronald Reagan did, and Team Romney hopes that he can score a few “There you go again” moments against the President.  Obama,  while a “gifted speaker” (as Paul Ryan states in an effort to set the bar low in expectations for this Wednesday), is not known for brief answers and won’t be focusing on “zingers”.

Of course, in the end, these debates really only serve to stroke the respective “political genitalia” of each candidate’s supporters. They don’t matter much in the scheme of things, even with the most horrible of debate gaffes in the television era. However, just like spectator sports, both camps will get excited about “their guy” and unlike professional sports (except in case of replacement refs), both camps will proclaim victory anyways.

But if the media is right about how bad Romney is doing, perhaps the urgency to perform well will cause chances to be taken, and then we could see some spectacular flubs from him. Likewise, President Obama may try to keep his answers concise, which is always a problem when a simple sentence of his can be wildly taken out of context. Whether you like him or not, it’s hard to get a simple answer from him.

Chances are, they’ll both play it relatively safe.

As for the vice-presidential debates: Biden may be given a sedative, because that guy really knows how to put his foot in his mouth with bombastic style…