*This article is satire. Information in this article is fictitious, however similar it may be to real events.
Accounts from public figures and businesses mentioned by name are invented. Any parallels found toactual people, businesses, and events is purely coincidental.*
BREAKING: Stefon Diggs Traded To…AFC Richmond
(Source: William Henry via Pinterest)
BUFFALO, NY — Trustworthy sources reported Stefon Diggs, the star wide-out for the Buffalo
Bills, has been traded to AFC Richmond this Thursday.
The blockbuster move was obvious to most keen-eyed analysts, considering Diggs:
- Unfollowed the Buffalo Bills on Instagram
- Posted a photo with an alarm clock set to Greenwich Mean Time
- Wore a red and blue suit at a red-carpet event (this was the most obvious)
- Grew out his mustache
- Released his viral break-up song, “Dear Josh”
“Well, we’re just so darn-tootin’ tickled to have Stefon on our football…er…soccer team…you
know what I mean”, said AFC Richmond manager, Ted Lasso. “It’ll be great to have a Bill-iever
out on our pitch with our football season about to begin!”
In return for WR Diggs, the Buffalo Bills scored ex-footballer-turned-coach Roy Kent, who will
be serving as the Bills’ Defensive Coordinator this upcoming season.
Kent, after initially telling the media to “sod off”, had this to say as he stomped towards the
Bills’ practice facility:
“These bloody wankers better get their sh!t together before they get their arses absolutely
clobbered come September,” spat Kent with a rageful zeal.
“And what’s this bit about ranch on chicken wings? Absolutely disgusting.”
The post RUMOR: Stefon Diggs on the Move? appeared first on Trainwreck Sports.
