Since Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Ivan Provorov opted out of his team’s pride night warmups in January, more NHL players have opted out of wearing their teams’ pride jerseys during warmups.
As a person who is in the LGBTQ+ community and an NCAA hockey player, the thought that I do not belong in the world of hockey because of my sexuality is sickening. I only realized I was queer during my freshman year at Chatham University. I was so scared of my teammates viewing me differently or not even accepting me for who I am.
Growing up in the game of hockey, hearing the f-slur was just a part of playing the game. Calling someone gay was as much a part of youth hockey as parents yelling about a missed penalty.
It’s been ingrained in my head from a young age that hockey is really only a game for straight people. I am so thankful for how welcoming and accepting my teammates at Chatham University are about who I am. It is always a thought in the back of my mind on if my teammates see me differently. It is no fault of their own because I know they do love me, but after years and years of hearing only negative things about people that are queer in hockey, that fear will always be with me.
Pride nights in the NHL show young fans that they do belong in the game. That for even one night, they can celebrate being who they are and not be afraid of showing it. I know it will take a long time for homophobia to leave hockey, but seeing the pride night discourse shows we have a lot of work that needs to be done.
Current state of the NHL’s pride nights
The New York Rangers, New York Islanders, Chicago Blackhawks and Minnesota Wild have all decided not to wear pride jerseys this year after doing so in previous seasons.
Several NHL players have cited religious reasons for skipping pride night. San José Sharks netminder James Reimer spoke about opting out of his team’s warmups during the Sharks’ pride night.
“I have no hate in my heart for anyone, and I have always strived to treat everyone that I encounter with respect and kindness,” Reimer said to reporters after the Sharks’ pride night on March 18. “In this specific instance, I am choosing not to endorse something that is counter to my personal convictions which are based on the Bible, the highest authority in my life.”
The Buffalo Sabres held its Pride Night on March 27, and while other Russian players have participated in Pride Night warmups, defenseman Ilya Lyubushkin opted out due to concerns over the new anti-LGBTQ+ laws passed in Russia.
A locker room can’t remain a safe place for all players if a closeted person sees their teammates opt out of a pride night at the NHL level. Even in my own life, I find it really difficult for me to see how I could continue to give it my all on and off the ice for someone who doesn’t accept me for who I am. I am so thankful that my current teammates do accept me, but if that weren’t the case, I don’t think I would still be playing the game I have loved for the past 20 years.
My sexuality doesn’t discredit my work both on and off the ice. It is hard enough to reach college hockey, and sexuality should have no part in someone not reaching it.
One of my biggest fears was guys refusing to be in the shower at the same time as me. I was petrified of being looked at differently and being treated as someone the boys didn’t want around. Luckily, my teammates proved those fears wrong and have made me figuring myself out not effect my involvement in hockey.
While I have yet to see ice time in an official game, I am so thankful for my teammates at Chatham for appreciating who I am as a person and letting my hard work speak for who I am and not my sexuality. I do acknowledge that this is probably most of their first times playing with someone who is openly out. I am proud of their own growth in being more mindful in the language they use, and why they use it.
Where do we go from here
All I am asking for is not to be treated differently by my teammates and other people in the game of hockey based on something I have no say over. The reason pride nights are so important in hockey is that homophobia is just a part of conversations within locker rooms. Players are conditioned from a young age to believe that calling someone gay is a normal and acceptable insult.
Having one night a year where the LGBTQ+ community can truly feel like they belong in this community is all that I really want. I know there will always be homophobic people in the game, and sometimes their voices are heard more than others but that is why allyship is so vital.
Being queer should not make you feel like an outsider in the game of hockey. The sport is already so taxing physically and mentally, we need to do our best to make sure that it isn’t taxing on the soul.
Seeing players wearing a pride jersey, even just for warmups, makes me think that I do not need to hide who I am both on and off the ice.
The post I am Queer and I Belong in Hockey appeared first on Trainwreck Sports.
